What Happens in the Closet
by yugoma
Summary: A bunch of short little pieces on things that happen in closets to random heroes. Mild slash, mass retardedness.
1. Jin and Touya

What happens in the Closet…

Gets posted on !

No, but seriously. Shit happens in the closet….

Chapter One: Jin and Touya

…………………….

Touya sighed as he walked through the demon infested house. There was currently a game of hide and seek going on. He was not playing. He refused to play the childish human game.

As he paused by the closet, a loud sneeze followed by a string of Irish-accented words floated through the door. Touya smirked and looked over at the door.

"Be a little more obvious, Jin!" He called through the door.

There was a loud curse from inside then the door swung open. Jin poked his head out from between two big coats. Touya bit back a laugh at the sight of that.

"What you doing, Toy? Trying ta get me caught?! Are you crazy!?"

"Oh, please. You don't need me to reveal your hiding spot when you sneeze that loud."

Jin opened his mouth to respond but a sudden voice in the hall made his ears twitch and his eyes widen. He grabbed Touya by his shirt and hauled him into the tiny closet. The Ice apparition struggled, twisting in his arms but Jin was stronger.

By the time Shishiwakamaru walked by the closet, it was silent. Touya pulled free of Jin's arms and made to leave. Jin grabbed him though, enticing a struggle.

"Let me go, Jin." Touya hissed.

"No!" Jin hissed back, grabbing Touya's wrists and yanking the smaller demon against his chest.

"Jin, I swear, I'll scream."

Jin, who could still heard Shishi walking around in the hall, shook his head.

"No. Shishi's still in the hall."

"You think I care about your game? Let me go."

Touya dropped the closet temperature but Jin just shook his head again.

"Let him leave."

"No." Touya pulled away from Jin and went to kick the door open.

Almost as if he could sense Touya's intention, Jin picked him up and quickly moved him to the wall of the closet, pressing close to him so he couldn't move.

"Jin. Damnit. Move." Touya said, not at all happy with being pressed chest to chest with the bigger demon.

"No. Shh."

Jin said, covering Touya's mouth with his hand. He leaned toward the door to listen for footsteps. He frowned as he heard Shishi talking to himself.

"Still there, then-O!"

Jin slapped a hand over his own mouth to stop the yell. He yanked his hand back form Touya's mouth, shaking it in air to cool the burning sensation.

"I can't believe you jus' had my fingers in your mouth. Your teeth hurt!" Jin hissed gripping his wounded hand.

"Well, keep your hands off my mouth! You don't taste great, you know."

"Hush!"

"No."

Jin began panicking as he could hear Shishi coming back.

"Toy, will ya just-?"

"No. I can't believe you dragged me in here and expect me to play along with this twisted-"

Jin groaned as Touya continued rambling. There was only one thing to do to stop Shishi from finding them. He prayed he wouldn't get frozen to death and leaned down to find Touya.

Shishi was walking down the hall, certain he had just heard Touya and what sounded like Jin. He knew for sure that Jin was playing.

"So, Touya must be with you, Jin." He said to himself.

He listened intently, but instead of hearing voices, he heard a loud crack followed by a thump.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

He froze, watching with a confused smile as Touya left the closet muttering about sick, depraved wind boys and their horny closet antics. Shishi put a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter and moved to the closet, where Jin was on the floor holding his face.

"What were you thinking?!"

…………………

Randomness is good for the soul.

Yugoma would like to formally note all innuendos of anything resembling slash were completely and totally accidental and meant to be edited out but were decidedly not. (Hehehe. You know what I'm getting at. wink wink)


	2. Yusuke and Kurama

What Happens in the Closet

Should be posted on Youtube!

Disclaimer: Cause I didn't say it before, I don't own these delicious demons.

Chapter 2: Yusuke and Kurama

* * *

"So….you come here often?"

"Really, Yusuke? Is now the time for inappropriate jokes?"

"Sorry. Just trying to lighten up the mood."

"…………"

"Come on. That was funny."

"Yusuke. Can we please focus on getting out of here?"

"Well, I don't see how we can with both us having our spirit energy locked inside. I can try to break the door down? Not sure Genkai would appreciate it though."

"Ah, yes. Brute force, the very thing that got us in this mess in the first place."

"Why you little-"

"Insults should help a lot, Yusuke."

"Is that Sarcasm, fox boy?!"

"I suppose so."

"Oh, that's it!"

"Relax, Yusuke. You'll have plenty of time to fight later on."

"Grr………..Well, what's your bright idea, Mr. Genius?"

"………..You'll have to break the door down."

"Ah ha! Okay, Kurama. Just admit I was right and we'll be on our way."

"……………………"

"Kurama."

"…………………"

"Kurama, come on."

"……………………"

"Kurama!"

"You need not shout, Yusuke. I can't hear you well enough."

"And?"

"Oh, fine. You were right. Can we go now, please?"

"Well,-"

The door swung open. Both demons blinked in the bright light to see Hiei. He stood there, typical frown on.

"Thank you, Hiei." Kurama said before leaving the closet.

"Man, Hiei. Thanks. You really are a-"

SLAM!

"Oh, come on! Don't leave me in here! Hiei!"

"…………………"

"Hiei? Kurama? Anybody? I was just joking about breaking it down!"

"……………………"

"GUYS!!!" 

* * *

Yu Yu Hakusho makes me smile.


	3. Jin and Touya 2

What Happens in the Closet

Is all Kuwabara ever thinks about!

More randomness about closets and being in the dark! Yay!

Chapter 3: Jin and Touya 2 aka the short thing I had to get out

* * *

"So then I was out by the lake-"

"Jin, Please. Shut up."

"Well, what d'ya expect me ta do? All alone in this closet wit nothing to do and we're stuck and-"

"Jin!"

"Sorry."

"…So…ya come here often?"

"Stop stealing Urameshi lines and shut up."

"Right."

"……Do you think they'll come find us soon?"

"Well, it's like me dear ol' mum used to say. Back in the ol' days before I was gone off, ya know. Ya never really know when you're gonna get some where or some thing. Come to think o' it, she was kinda batty, 'erself. Always a wee bit off. I remember-"

"JIN!"

……………….

I'm terrible at Jin's accent right now. Ah well, I'll get better the more I write him.


	4. Touya and Shishiwakamaru

What Happens in the Closet…

Is in the stories Kurama writes when no one is looking.

Chapter 4: Touya and Shishiwakamaru

* * *

"So."

"Yep."

"Right."

"…………Hm."

"Well, I'm bored."

"Me too. We really need to have this closet blocked off or something."

"Maybe destroyed."

"Perhaps we could simply take the door off."

"Yes. We'll have to remember to do that."

"……………………."

"……………………."

"So, shall we kill Jin when we get out of here?"

"I think that may be a bit harsh."

"He stuck us in a closet with a door he knows jams up."

"Well, I suppose he does need some punishment."

"Yes."

"Okay, it's agreed. We'll do it together."

"………………………"

"………………………"

"…………………………"

"…………………………"

"So."

"Yep."

* * *

There's no way a funny conversation can be struck between these guys. This is all I had.

Lots more to come though. Better chaps next time.


	5. Touya and Shishiwakamaru 2

What Happens in the Closet…

Is what Hiei _really_ thinks about. ^_^

Chapter 5: Shishi and Touya 2

Cause my brain had a shishi-touya spasm.

* * *

"So, I thought we were going to destroy this closet."

"Your job. Not mine."

"Why me?"

"You have a sword."

"……So?! You have ice powers."

"Oh, shut up."

"…I thought we were going to get Jin."

"Relax, I did my part."

"Oh, please. Sucking his di-"

~SMACK~

"OW...You know _that_ still doesn't count as punishment."

"Shut up. That's not what happened."

"Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. He fucked you in the -"

~SMACK~

"OW! Will you please stop smacking me?!"

"Will you stop saying inappropriate things?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"…………..I don't see how sleeping with him-"

~SMACK~

"AH!!"

~SMACK~

"OW!"

~SMACK~

"QUIT IT!"

"I didn't sleep with him, okay?!"

"Alright……psycho."

"Don't call me that, Shishi."

"…..At least you're a pretty psycho."

"Excuse me?"

"You're pretty, Touya."

"Gee thanks."

"Seriously."

"Shut up."

"I wish there was a light in here so I could see your pretty face."

"Shut up, Shishi."

"Let me touch you."

"What? Don't you-GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!"

"No! I wanna touch you Touya."

"Shishi!"

"Let me just-"

"Don't touch me there!!"

"One feel!"

"No! Get off!….Don't you dare go there!"

"……………"

~BAM~

"GET AWAY YOU SICK PERVERT!!!"

"………………..Didn't have to break my jaw."

"Shut the hell up."

* * *

Had to do it.


	6. Chu and Rinku

What Happens in the Closet…

Is what no one wants to explain to Rinku.

Chapter 6: Chu and Rinku

* * *

"I'm hungry."

"…………"

"Chu, I'm hungry."

"Mhmm."

"Chu! I'm hungry!"

"Well, I'm hung-over and you're making me head ache, mate, so shut yer trap."

"………………"

"………………"

"Chu!"

"What now?"

"Why won't they let us out?"

"Well, only Jin and Touya are home and they're busy."

"Doing what?"

"I don't know!"

"………..Chu, what does 'pervert' mean?"

"Where'd ya here that, mate?"

"Touya screamed it at Shishi when they were stuck in here."

"Huh. Now that sounds interesting."

"What's it mean?"

"It means Shishi was grabbin' a feel, he shouldn'a grabbed."

"Grabbing a feel?"

"Don't repeat that!!"

"Well, you said it!"

"Yeah, well I'm old enough to know about things like that!"

"Sorry, jeez. So what's a pervert?"

"Listen, Rinku. A pervert is when…well, it's like…ah, just forget it!"

"Okay."

"…………………………"

"…………Chu, do Touya and Jin sleep together?"

"WHAT?!"

"Shishi said Touya slept with Jin. Don't they have separate rooms? Why would they want to share one of those tiny beds?"

"Ah, Rinku. Shishi didn't mean they just share a bed. He meant that…I mean. Come to think of it, those two could probably go at it anywhere if they wanted to."

"Go at what?"

(Cue Chu anime-head-drop)

"Nothing! Just…sparring. Yeah, sparring."

"Oh, yeah I guess."

"…………….."

"Chu, what's-"

"No more questions!"

……………………………

Man, I need to write a real story. I'll post a real one eventually. For now there will be more closet-y good ness.


End file.
